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Pi in Your Eye

The 3.14 office fight pitted geek against cubicle queen - a memory to celebrate Pi Day.

Okay first the obvious. It's the third month and the 14th day — a.k.a. 3.14, thus Pi Day.

If that makes no sense, I refuse to explain it any further and expose myself to mocking for no other reason than that I remember what was repeated to me more than one thousand times in school.

The bottom line, some people resent those who know the numbers of pi, so don't be the fool who tells them that 3.14 is only the beginning of it.

You think I'm making this up. Not so. I will soon provide a real life example full of clenched teeth and revenge.

But first—my conjecture about the similarities between pi and the geeks who understand it.

As far as we know, pi goes on forever. You can jeer at it, pressure it, tease it for not wearing the latest fashion, and it will go on and on into a trillion numbers that are beyond you.

Pi is an irrational number that's a dappled thing of sorts with no tidy even box you can put it up and away in, thinking you've figured it out.

And now for the example I promised. Years ago, fighting gravity, I somehow made it through my office door to work another joyful day, sitting in a cubicle next to a "delightful" co-worker, who had a gift for sharing her misery with others.

Ranting about the ridiculous questions on "Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader," she said — I mean they asked them what pi was. Who the #@$! knows what pi is?

Facing coffee-deprivation, and out of reflex, I mumbled 3.14 without thinking. I didn't bother to mention one, five and nine, as I quickly realized the error of my ways.

Furious about not being smarter than a fifth grader and at the nervy office mate who dared understand pi better than she, the cubicle queen proceeded to increase her "delightfulness" factor exponentially (a concept I wouldn't dare explain to her) — and spent days trying to exact revenge.

What she failed to recognize is how little I cared.

Oh, did I tell you, pi is transendental. We geeks transcend.

Ed James March 14, 2012 at 08:44 PM
I say goodbye to pi. Pi day, go away. All the kewl kids are switching to Tau, properly celebrated on 6/28. No more silly "2*pi" - just one "tau", the way it should have been!
Bailey Henneberg March 15, 2012 at 03:06 AM
To even care about being kewl or cool is not worth stooping to in the book of pi. And what do you know anyway, Ed, I mean you're just a... a... well, alright, physicist. Hmmph.
Ed James March 15, 2012 at 11:15 AM
There's the old school cool and the new kewl. The new kewl sez Science, Technology, Engineering, Math (STEM) are kewl. Old cool was just fluff and stuff. New kewl is the future of our kids. How kewl is that! Tau rulez!
Bailey Henneberg March 15, 2012 at 10:46 PM
Okay Ed, tell us how you really feel. Hahaha, just giving you a hard time so that no one will notice how inept I am when it comes to tau.
Ed James March 16, 2012 at 12:31 PM
You still get geek cred for knowing about pi day, which shows that geeks grok kewl!

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