Five Signs a Cell Phone User Needs 12 Step

With all the rumor buzz about radiation from cell phones being carcinogenic or the bee killing, let us not forget the most proven problem of the cellular beasts — the people using them.

For some reason, cell phones empower certain people to think they can interrupt conversations to take a call without their abysmal manners being noticed. Just like a car makes Bubba think he can stick his finger up his nose and go digging without being seen. FYI, car + broad daylight = visibility.

News flash, cell phone junkies, we do notice you manners, or rather the lack thereof. And no, we don't think your taking calls incessantly is a sign that you are just that important.

The bottom line is, there are very few good reasons for taking a phone call while you're talking to someone else, or a text for that matter. I don't care if you've been waiting for the message. And no, I don't care if it's your mommy on the line. High time you cut the cord.

In addition, saying — Oh I'm sorry — when the phone rings and you pick it up, doesn't persuade us that you're sorry, especially when 10 minutes later you do the same thing. Your creating breathless and wide-eyed drama to announce the reason you "must" take the call isn't fooling us either.

Oh I'm sorry, my aunt has been trying to get me for days, pant, pant, doesn't give you an excuse to cut us off, unless she has been trying to get you because your uncle is in the hospital. But if she is calling to hear the latest about your loser boyfriend, not so much.

And by the way, if he's really such a floating wad of pond scum, have you considered the — it's not me, it's you speech. I know it will be hard having so much less to talk about, but really, we've heard enough.

Maybe you should sit down for the next news bulletin—all this goes for interrupting a phone call to take another call too. And though I've already pointed the finger at texts, worth mentioning again.

You think I'm crazy, right?

If you want to blame me because its easier than taking a good look at your jittery self. Have at it. But the truth is you have become powerless over your addiction and your life has become unmanageable. Take a look at the signs.

You know you are a cell phone addict, if you interrupt conversations to take a call or text from:

• Someone with the latest on your loser boyfriend — or, worse yet, it is your loser boyfriend.

• A friend who may be inviting you to do something fun. If you are over 5-years-old, but find you can't wait - yet another reminder of all the important lessons you missed by skipping kindergarten.

• Your mom, who checks in on you everyday, and you are over 18.

• Your boss, who is calling to fire you over all the time you spend with your cell phone when you should be working. Don't take it, it will only cement his opinion that you can't resist a phone call.

• You cell phone company calling to say they are cutting you off unless you pay your bill right now. Let them do it. There may still be time to save the few friends you have left.

And now for the irony of it all. I, who have tilted for years against the cellular windmill, now have a job covering news. Cell phone in hand, I am supposed to be prepared when it breaks. Don't you know those who have been on the receiving end of my soapbox-rant are rolling their eyes at me with a vengeance. And I have left myself with no defense, other than my promise that I will never interrupt you with pant, pant, an oh-so-important call about boyfriends or navel fuzz.