Autism is Remarkable When You Take the Time to Understand It
Greenbelt mom, Gretchen Schock, talks about April—Autism Awareness Month—being the time to learn more about the disorder.
Discover a topic that interests a child on the spectrum and start the conversation there.
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I am a huge advocate for both my children; my oldest is on the Autism Spectrum. I believe many people are scared of the diagnosis. I was in the beginning as well. Though I also was searching for answers.
Why won’t my son talk to me like the other children his age?
Why does he sit and stare off into space for long amounts of time?
When my oldest son, L, was diagnosed on the Autism Spectrum it was because I was determined to have someone help me learn how to parent my child. The diagnosis gave me the ability to understand Autism and it opened a window into my child’s mind.
One day a parent confided in me that her child was recently diagnosed being on the Autism Spectrum. I told her to treat the diagnosis the same way you would if your doctor told you she had asthma. You’d research it, you’d create safe environments for her, you may or may not need to medicate and most importantly you’d love her. She’s the same child. Now you just have an extra set of tools to help you parent her better.
I have learned so much about the human spirit by being L's mom. I believe that my heart has gotten bigger and my level of kindness and tolerance has doubled. It's hard not to. L isn't equipped with filters. He is honest about everything; the concept of lying or telling "little white lies" is lost on him. He says what he thinks. I am learning authenticity from him. When he hugs you or tells you that he loves you it isn't because it's out of habit or because he knows it will make you feel better. It's genuine. It's honest. It's his truth.
I’ve noticed that I desire to be around more people who can live authentically, people who speak their truth. It’s a cliché to say but life is too short to spend hours on small talk.
If you've ever talked to a child on the spectrum about something that interests them, it's as if they know everything about it. And they do. When L finds a new interest he dives head first into it and seems to not come up for air for quite a while. We live and breathe that topic for weeks, sometimes months. He's had quite a few phases; butterflies, superheros, most recently the Yu-Gi-Go.
It started with trains. This was one of my first "ah-ha" moments of realizing that L was different from his peers. While the other little boys were just as fascinated with Thomas the Train, L's fascination reached a deeper level. He only wanted to read books about trains, he had every Thomas episode memorized word for word and would reenact them on his train table with his actual trains. If you give the information to a child on the Autism Spectrum in a way that their brain can understand it, they will digest the knowledge at rapid speed.
I haven’t had the conversation where I explain to L his diagnosis. I’m waiting for him to organically ask the questions. Right now he will gladly tell you, “I’m endowed with special abilities.”
And that is exactly how I want him to see himself.
Having a child on the spectrum opens your eyes to all that you have been missing, or never took the time to notice. Parenting a child on the spectrum is different, but different can be pretty remarkable if you just take the time to understand it.
Gretchen Schock is a mom living in Greenbelt, MD, a writer and a yoga instructor. Check out her creative writings and crafty goodness on her blog, www.CocktailMom.com. Or come to a yoga class and be inspired!
Anne Russell
2:13 pm on Wednesday, April 18, 2012
Thank you for saying exactly what I believe. My son is almost 13 and has pdd-nos.
We are now on the wild ride called puberty. We've come to see autism as a blessing not a curse. Do we need to adjust situations sometimes? Yes. Life is too short to not be "real"....our son has showed us how to love and appreciate every moment with love.
Gretchen Schock
2:17 pm on Wednesday, April 18, 2012
Anne, thank you so much for reading. I am so overjoyed with your outlook on life. I am also appreciating every moment. Be well friend.
Lenny Schafer
5:37 pm on Thursday, April 19, 2012
I am happy that some parents of children who are high functioning in their autism have found a silver lining with the disorder. But Gretchen paints a harmfully distorted picture of what autism is to those who are not high functioning and are entrapped in a hellish disability that robs the victims of their world, their soul and their future to able to live as independent adults. Autism is neither "remarkable" nor a "blessing." It is a scourge that deserves the compassion and support of the community. It also deserves the truth and not this distortion.
Rebecca Harbin
5:37 pm on Thursday, April 19, 2012
Thank you for this! My 2 and a half year old son was just diagnosed with pdd April 2nd of this year.
Gretchen Schock
6:37 pm on Thursday, April 19, 2012
Thank you for reading Rebecca. Please check out my blog www.CocktailMom.com, on the right hand side you can search by "autism"...I've written about many of our experiences and different therapies. Be well friend.
Veronica Miedema
5:38 pm on Thursday, April 19, 2012
Love it. I have a six year old boy Camren. He was diagnosed when he was 18 mos. He came to me 6 months ago and said Mommy I know I'm different. I explained autism to him. He felt better as people stared at his behaviors and labelled him naughty. But now we claim Autism proudly. We hold no shame in it. I have never asked God for a cure, but to give me the ability to grow with it and learn from it. Funny it really is now my sons personality. I love him and I am so proud of him. X
Gretchen Schock
6:40 pm on Thursday, April 19, 2012
Thank you for reading and sharing a bit of your story Veronica. I love that your son came to you and said that he knew he is different. My son also has an idea, a few times he's remarked that his brain is wired differently. Be well friend.
Amanda G
1:35 pm on Thursday, April 19, 2012
When I got my son's diagnosis, it felt like my world stopped spinning for a while. Then I realized that nothing had changed. He was still the same child, with his same special rhythm in life. I just now understood why. If tomorrow they discovered a "cure" for Autism, I would not want it for my son. It is part of what makes him who he is. And that is one amazing, special little boy.
Gretchen Schock
1:40 pm on Thursday, April 19, 2012
I totally agree with you Amanda. I wouldn't want my son to change either. The way his brain works fascinates me, and I have learned so much about the human spirit by being his mom. Thank you for reading and sharing a bit of your story. Be well friend.
Lenny Schafer
4:15 pm on Thursday, April 19, 2012
I am happy that some parents of children who are high functioning in their autism have found a silver lining with the disorder. But Gretchen paints a harmfully distorted picture of what autism is to those who are not high functioning and are entrapped in a hellish disability that robs the victims of their world, their soul and their future to able to live as independent adults. Autism is neither "remarkable" nor a "blessing." It is a scourge that deserves the compassion and support of the community. It also deserves the truth and not this distortion.
Gretchen Schock
4:43 pm on Thursday, April 19, 2012
Lenny thank you for reading but I have to disagree with your opinion. I believe if you were to talk to parents who's children were not high functioning that they would actually agree with me in that their children are remarkable beings. I have a cousin who is not high functioning and no she will never live independently. But she is a beautiful spirit that I am honored to know and love.
Lenny Schafer
7:06 pm on Thursday, April 19, 2012
I am not the one confusing the person with the disability. My low function autistic son is wonderful. His autism is a horror. You and others are harming my son by trying to trivialize autism and make it appear as something less than a disability. Please stop exploiting the disabled to make yourself feel good. This is selfish and despicable.
Gretchen Schock
7:25 pm on Thursday, April 19, 2012
Lenny I don't believe anyone is "exploiting the disabled to make" ourselves feel better. We are parents to children with special needs, like yourself. And we are each entitled to our own opinions of how we view our children. I wish you well.
Gretchen Schock
7:28 pm on Thursday, April 19, 2012
Lenny, I am sure that you already know of this organization but in case you don't....http://www.thearcofpgc.org/ They have some incredible resources for parents and caregivers.